2P!Romano x Reader - Presents of Jealousy

'Every year the story repeats itself...' sighed a (h/c) head, laying on the couch while watching the commercials that appeared in the television screen. 'What should I get him?'
"God, why is that guy so difficult?" she whined. "Argh, I need help... And from someone who actually knows him... Maybe I should ask Luciano!"
Every year was the same thing, whenever Flavio's birthday came, she never knew what could be a good present for him. Sure he liked fashion and things of the kind, but he was a world-renowned stylist and his younger brother was a famous name in the mafia world, meaning they could get pretty much anything they wanted.
Quickly abandoning the sofa, she got ready and bolted out of her house and towards the Vargas complex, perfectly aware that the older of the two brothers had gone to Milan the previous day and was only back on the following morning. Violently, she knocked on the door.
"Who-a dares to-a bother-a me-a?" came the familiar voice from inside; the italian's expression changed when he opened the door, changed from rage to confusion. "What do you-a want, ragazza? Mio fratello is not-a here."
"I know that, I just need to ask you something!" she explained.
"What?" he wondered. "Hurry up-a, I have-a more-a important things to-a attend-a to!"
"Right... By any chance, wouldn't you know about something Flavio would like for his birthday?" she asked, hope written all over her eyes; now, Luciano felt a sudden urge to laugh, but, wanting to maintain his image, he didn't and simply responded:
"No, I have-a no idea, just-a give him a new scarf or-a something like-a that-a."
"Ah, thank you... for your hmm... enlightening opinion..." she waved off, turning away from the door. "Bye, Luci..."
"Whatever, ragazza." he said, going back inside.

She slowly dragged her feet as she made her way back home.
"Oh lord, now what am I going to do?" she sighed. "Maybe I should sleep it over, then I might have an idea..."

Said and done, she went for a good night rest... Or not... She did try to fall asleep, honestly, but this matter was seriously bugging her. Then, out of a sudden, she shot out of her bed with a shout:
"Andrés!"
"How didn't I remember him before? He's known Flavio for so long, he surely knows what he'd like!" she blurted as she made her way to where the phone was. Then, hurriedly, almost mechanically, she dialed the spanish's number.
'Come on, come on, pick up...' she thought, absently biting her finger.

"Who the hell is this?" grumbled an accented voice.
"Andrés, I'm really sorry for waking you..." she apologised.
"(F/n), chica, what do you want at a time like this?"
"A... time like this...?"
"Sí, it's 3am, no one wakes up a murderer at this time of the night, unless they have a death wish!"
"Reformulate that sentence, no one except me, but I'm only doing this because I can't sleep!" she whined.
"Can't sleep? Did someone bother you? If someone did, we can always help you!"
"I know... But  no, it's even worse. I can't decide what to offer Flavio for his birthday!"
"Huh? Did you really wake me up just because of that?"
"What do you mean 'JUST because of that'? It's an extremely important matter!"
"Just give him a new stack of poison or a new pair of boots, that'll make him happy."
"If you think so..."
"Goodnight, (f/n)!" he bid, immediately hanging up.
"Goodnight..." she sighed, before returning to bed. "Now my only hope is..."

The next day arrived, bright and sunny almost as if telling the day would be good, although... it wouldn't turn out as great for a certain someone...
Always with a smile on her face, she skipped to the Vargas residence; just her luck, Flavio was the one to open the door.
"Ciao, Flavio!" she chirped.
"Ciao, (f/n)! What a surprise-a!"
"W-well... I have a problem, and only you can help me!" she stated, causing the italian to raise an eyebrow suspiciously.
"Of-a course, and what do you-a need help-a with?"
"It's about... male 'likes'!?" informed the (h/c) head, a bit unsure about how to put it.
"Sí, I think I can-a help you with-a that." he mused. "But-a why exactly do you-a need such-a help?"
"I..." she stuttered. "I need a present for a friend, and I need ideas!"
'Yeah, nice save!' she mentally cheered, lightly shifting under the italian's predatory gaze.
"A friend!" he purred. "And do I-a happen to-a know this-a... friend of yours?"
"That... is not important! I'll just tell that he's a wonderful person, his 'likes' are very similar to yours, and I won't spend more than 200€!"
"Oh!" he mused. "Come-a in and-a wait while I-a go grab my jacket!"
Softly taking her hand, he pulled her inside, slammed the door close, and, leaving her standing in the hallway, he took off to his room upstairs.

"So she's-a liking-a someone, eh? And to the-a point to-a spend 200 in-a presents for-a him!" he muttered to himself.
'Do something, this is a major offense and it asks for revenge!' spoke up a voice inside his head.
"Sí, si, I know... And I-a think I know just-a what I'm-a going to-a do, without-a hurting her-a friend, of-a course!" he chuckled.
'What? Without hurting him? Why not just kill him?' yelled the voice in indignation.
"No, (f/n) would-a be mad at-a me forever, but I-a know what to-a do so he won't-a want to-a see her again, never again!"

----- Time skip to one of those warehouses that sell almost anything -----

"Do you see anything you like?" wondered the girl.
'A few-a things, but-a nothing that will be-a owned by this-a THREAT to-a our relationship...' he thought, but his actual reply was: "Not-a yet, dolce mio!"

For hours, they travelled around the building, and Flavio made his choices: boxing gloves, a useless and expensive weird-looking chair and, finally, a box that seemed to have been painted by a child; all things he found stupid and extremely hideous, but he made the particular effort to seem excited when he saw them. Of course, (f/n) found his 'likes' a bit odd, but, knowing him, she just shrugged it off, especially after he swore that he'd cry with joy if such gifts were offered to him.
In all honesty, there was only one thought in each of their heads. (F/n): 'I can't believe I tricked him! He's going to be so surprised after receiving those... things!'; Flavio: 'When that-a THREAT receives those-a pieces of-a junk, he'll never want to-a lay his eyes on-a her ever again-a!'

And the time passed until the dreaded day arrived, the day of... Flavio's birthday.
"So, how were your presents so far?" asked (f/n).
"Fantasticos!" assured the blond. "Luci offered-a me a new scarf, Andrés got-a me a brand-a new stack of-a poisons, ..." and the list went on.
"Oh, you really seem to like all that..." she started, the italian nodded vehemently. "...but I can assure you that my present will be great this year!"
"Oh, amore mio, your-a presents are always magnificent-a!" he replied, softly kissing her hand.
"Yes... Well, this time is going to be even better!" she echoed.
Complying to her wishes, Flavio stepped closer to her rather large present and opened it. A real surprise it was, there were the three items he had indicated to her in the warehouse: the gloves, the chair and the box. His eyebrow twitched slightly, his mouth was hanging open and his shades had slid down the bridge of his nose.
"Aren't you going to say anything, Flavio?" (f/n) wondered.
"A-ah... It's-a wonderful, and a very big-a surprise!" he responded with a nervous smile.

In the background, the two closest people to the blond laughed like there was no tomorrow.
"A great-a rival you-a had, fratello!"
"Sí, no one could rival you better!" agreed the spanish.

"Eh? What are they talking about?" inquired the (h/c) head.
"Nothing, ignore-a them-a..." sighed the older italian. "Your-a gifts are-a lovely!"
But, what he was truly thinking at the moment was: 'I've-a never felt-a dumber...'